


Series of Unfortunate Events

by moirasrosesroses



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Drinking, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hiking, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26740792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moirasrosesroses/pseuds/moirasrosesroses
Summary: To help clear his head, Patrick goes on a hike... alone. David is not thrilled with the idea considering what happened on their last hike.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose
Comments: 12
Kudos: 98





	Series of Unfortunate Events

**Author's Note:**

> This might be the kindest fandom I've ever been apart of. Thank you all so much for your kind words. Shout out to @cutthechitchatandletmedie for all the help you give me!
> 
> Originally, I had wanted to create something akin to an episode where it hops between the A & B storylines. Hopefully, I achieved something similar to this and it's not too off-putting.

“David, have you seen my jacket?” Patrick asked, coming down the stairs into the living room. “The blue one,” he clarified when David’s answer had been only a blank stare. 

“Everything you wear is blue,” David replied, his voice still heavy with sleep. “You’ll need to be more specific.” He took another deep drink from his coffee. 

“The one I use for hiking,” Patrick said with a soft laugh. 

“Hall closet,” David answered, trying to recall why Patrick needed his hiking jacket. 

“Thanks,” Patrick said quickly as he ruffled through the items in the closet. “You were right!” Patrick declared upon finding his jacket hung neatly on a hanger in the closet. 

“I know,” David yawned as he watched Patrick quickly don the light shell jacket. “I don’t think it’s supposed to rain today,” he smirked. 

“David, I told you, I’m going hiking today,” Patrick explained. “There’s that trail I want to try. The one I found on that hiking app.”

David tried to reach back in his memory to when Patrick had told him he was going hiking on their day off, but was drawing a blank. “I don’t like the idea of you hiking alone,” David said instead, recalling in vivid detail what had happened to Patrick during their last hike. 

“You  _ could _ come with me,” Patrick offered with a knowing grin. 

“I don’t like that idea either,” David grimaced into his coffee. 

“Then I guess I’m hiking solo,” Patrick shrugged, pulling his backpack off of a chair. 

“Just-” David sighed. “Don’t forget the first aid kit this time.”

“Right here,” Patrick said, bringing out the small zipper pack and waving it clearly in David’s direction. He placed it carefully back in the front pocket.

Sensing David’s apprehension, he said quickly, “I haven’t been hiking since you and I took our hike and we both need a break from the chaos at the store lately.”

David sharply exhaled and took another drink of his coffee. The recent slew of evening classes had left them both physically and mentally exhausted. 

“Plus, It’s supposed to be a relatively easy trail and I’ll be sure to watch for sticks in the path,” Patrick said calmly, trying to soothe the anxious look off of David’s face.

“Fine,” David conceded.

“I shouldn’t be gone all day,” Patrick continued. “Just the morning, I think.”

“I said fine,” David grimaced, worry still in his voice.

“It’ll be okay. I’ll call you when I’m on my way back,” Patrick tried again to reassure him. “What are you going to do while I’m gone?” Patrick asked, trying to change the conversation. 

“Not sure yet,” David shrugged.

“Well, promise me you won’t work,” Patrick insisted. 

“David,” Patrick said firmly when David didn’t answer. 

“I won’t work,” David reluctantly agreed with an exaggerated sigh. 

“And I’ll make sure I have the first aid kit,” Patrick said softly with a reassuring kiss on David’s cheek. 

Picking up his backpack, he gave David one more kiss on the side of his mouth and headed towards the door. “No work today, David,” he called as he opened the front door. 

“First aid kit, Patrick!” David retorted. 

* * *

“Fuck,” David whispered under his breath as his key stuck in the door of Rose Apothecary. Jiggling it with extra force, he finally unlocked the door and stepped into the store. 

_ It’s not work if I’m just here for a delivery _ , David reasoned to himself as he walked to the back to set down his bag. Seeing a few unpacked boxes that he hadn’t been able to get to, he began unpacking them with slow, deliberate movements.  _ If I’m here anyway _ , he excused.

Hearing the shop bell ring, he peeked his head from the back to see Stevie with a small smile. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “Isn’t the store closed today?”

“For your information, there is a delivery today that I am waiting for,” David defended. “If you knew we were closed today, what makes you think you’re welcome in my shop?” he smirked. 

“I was at the cafe and saw the effortless way you opened the door,” Stevie said straight-faced. “Thought you might need some sustenance after that display of strength.” Bringing out a small paper bag, she set it on the counter.

Crossing the room, David eagerly peeked inside the paper bag to see a muffin. “What do you want?” David asked skeptically, unsure why Stevie would just offer him a bakery item unprovoked. 

“It happens to be my day off too,” Stevie shrugged. “And I didn’t get to your store in time to buy my usual bottles of wine for my day off tradition.”

“I may be able to help with that,” David said with a cocked eyebrow.

* * *

Patrick saw the familiar brown of the trail sign and pulled over behind a black Audi. Craning his neck to see if he could tell how many people were walking the trail, he eyed another car parked further up the side of the road. 

Patrick grimaced and pulled up the hiking trail app on his phone. He preferred the general solitude of hiking and the thought of running into some inexperienced hikers taking up the width of the entire trail was not helping his day off zen. Especially after driving for an hour just to get here. 

Finding another trail a little further down the road, Patrick pulled out to drive the few minutes past his originally planned trailhead. A feeling of relief flooded his senses as he pulled up to his new starting point and found no cars or people in the vicinity. 

“Finally,” Patrick whispered to himself, thankful to have found a trail where he could hike alone in peaceful serenity.  _ I’m  _ really  _ alone _ , he thought to himself, noticing that his phone had no signal. His thoughts flashed briefly to his promise to David as he secured his phone in the glovebox.  _ I can call him when I get a signal again _ , he reasoned, popping the trunk and climbing out of his car.

Squinting at the trailhead, Patrick pushed his hands into his pocket and rocked back on his heels. It felt like so long since he had last hiked, he didn’t know if he wanted to bring his full backpack like he normally would. Combine that with the fact that baseball was no longer in season, he didn’t feel quite in shape as he normally might. Rummaging through his trunk, he found a small stowaway backpack his mother had bought him for Christmas one year. 

“Compass, water,” he muttered to himself as he transferred the contents of his hiking backpack to his smaller one. “Moleskin, bug spray,” he debated, rifling through his previously packed backpack. Finally settling on all of the appropriate items, he zipped up the small backpack and slammed the car trunk closed. 

Glancing back at his car, he hit the lock button once again on his key fob and set off on a much needed hike. 

* * *

“Patrick didn’t want to come to the store just to wait for a delivery with you?” Stevie asked, taking a drink of the red wine David had opened for them to share. 

“Hmm,” David acknowledged quietly, trying to avoid the admission that he was at work when he promised Patrick he wouldn’t be. “He decided instead to go on a hike,” David grumbled, hands suddenly waving in the air and dangerously close to spilling his wine. 

“Did  _ you _ want to go?” Stevie asked, somewhat taken aback by David’s minor outburst. 

“No!” David looked offended. “No, but I’m sorry if I don’t like the thought of him hiking alone!” He took another long drink from his glass grimacing at the memory of Patrick impaling himself on a branch.

Stevie tried not to laugh while staring wide-eyed at David’s sudden passion about a seemingly innocuous hike. “A simple day hike really does sound dangerous,” she ventured. 

“You have no idea!” David burst out. “There could be bears!”

“Okay, well, Patrick is an experienced hiker, I’m sure he knows what to do,” Stevie tried to calm him, pouring themselves another glass. “So, Patrick decided to go on a hike on his day off and  _ you _ decided to come to work?”

“There’s a delivery,” David defended again. 

“Of?”

“If you must know, it’s a shipment of body milk,” David said, crossing his arms in front of him and looking away from Stevie, trying to avoid where the conversation was headed.

“Oh, you mean this fully stocked body milk?” Stevie smirked, gesturing to the section of the table that held three full rows of large blue jars. 

David shifted his jaw side to side before answering defensively, “Yes.”

“I’m sure it’s just  _ impossible _ to get it rescheduled,” Stevie continued to tease. “Or have them try to redeliver it tomorrow.”

“It would have been inconvenient,” David defended quietly. 

“To have it delivered,” Stevie paused, punctuating her words with a small shake of her head, “when you were already here.”

“I don’t like where this interrogation is going,” David frowned.

“And you couldn’t think of anything better to do on your day off?” Stevie asked directly. 

“You sound like Patrick,” David grimaced. 

Stevie tightened her lips and squinted at David. “He didn’t want you working today,” she observed. 

“If he can go on a hike, I can be here!” he fretted, raising his hands in the air once again.

Stevie’s face broke out into a knowing grin. 

David made an exaggerated shrug, hands held high in the air, and settled back deep into his chair. “At least there’s wine,” he mumbled softly. 

“Speaking of,” Stevie held up the now empty bottle, “we might need to open the other one.”

* * *

Patrick stepped nimbly over a large tree root in his path. Pausing briefly at the trail sign, he internally calculated how much longer he might be hiking.  _ Only another two kilometres _ , he thought. 

Knowing David was so worried about him, he had mostly watched his feet for the first part of the hike lest he be impaled by another stick, but he felt as if he were missing all of the beauty of nature by keeping his eyes so hyper focused on the ground. Now with no other sounds around him but the buzzing of insects and the rustling of leaves, he tilted his head back, stretching his neck and breathing in the fresh air. 

Rolling his shoulders, he realized how thankful he was that he had switched to the smaller backpack at the last minute. The hike was proving slightly more arduous than he was originally prepared for. 

_ Already noon _ , Patrick thought as he checked his watch. Hearing a crow caw overhead, Patrick glanced up to see if he could see where the noise was coming from and slipped slightly on a root. Catching himself from falling forward, Patrick let out a small laugh as he thought about what David would do if he came home with a sprained ankle. Probably never let him hike alone again, he thought. 

Trekking further on the trail, he came to a break in the path where a stream of water had worn through. Feeling fairly confident after a relatively incident free hike and some beautiful new scenery, Patrick jauntily leapt over the small crevice instead of attempting to take a large step to reach the other side. 

_ Wonder what David would have thought of that _ , Patrick chuckled softly to himself as he imagined David trying to straddle the crevice he had easily jumped over. A pang of guilt suddenly overwhelmed him as he thought of David sitting at home alone. He had looked so worried about Patrick hiking alone and yet he had stupidly left his phone in the glove compartment of his car. It seemed that every time Patrick felt as if he needed time alone, he realized how much he longed for David. Their days and evenings had been so busy, they had little time for the two of them. 

He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to be alone with David.

_ Fuck _ , he thought. He rocked his head side to side, pushed up the sleeves of his jacket, and grasped his backpack straps with his hands. Walking with extra determination, he set out to finish the hike as quickly as possible. Coming to a small set of rickety looking stairs, he stepped down carefully on the first one. Feeling as if the wood stairs had held up well over the years, he continued his trepidatious climb down.

His foot suddenly stalled on what felt like a soft piece of wood, but his weight was already behind the movement and his foot fell through the rotten stair. But instead of feeling the soft earth underneath, a strange vibration traveled up his ankle. 

A loud buzzing filled his ears before he even felt the first sting on his exposed arms. Realization hit Patrick that he accidentally stepped into a wasp nest, but not soon enough before he felt yet another sting on his forearm. 

“Fuck!” Patrick yelled as he pulled his leg out of the rotten stair and practically fell down the remaining stairs trying to get away. “Fuck!” he shouted again as he righted himself and ran further down the path, waving his arms trying to keep the wasps away. 

As soon as he no longer heard the incessant buzzing, he slowed his pace to a slow walk and found a place to examine the damage. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Patrick said through wheezy breaths as he saw the many stings on his forearms. Setting his backpack on the ground, he dug through it trying to find the first aid kit. 

And then it hit him: it was still in the other backpack. After he had shown it to David, he put it in a different pocket and it hadn’t occurred to him to check it when he transferred what he needed to the smaller one. 

David was never going to let him hike alone again. 

But more urgently, he couldn’t care for the alarmingly sharp pain shooting up his arms and into his shoulders. 

“Fucking fuck,” he croaked, squinting at his red swollen arms. Taking a deep breath and trying to still his hands from clenching and unclenching, he grabbed his backpack and gingerly put it on his shoulders, determined to get to his car as quickly as possible. 

* * *

“That is incorrect!” David shouted emphatically, tripping backwards slightly and falling back into his chair. 

“Oh-ho-ho!” Stevie laughed, holding her glass and pointing at David. 

“I am  _ not _ drunk,” David shook his head in denial. A pleasant buzz trilled through his spine, but he wasn’t  _ drunk _ , he insisted to himself.

“Hm,” Stevie’s eyebrows raised as she cocked her head. She sharply yanked her head around hearing the shop bell ring behind her. 

“Finally!” David crowed, awkwardly getting from his chair to meet the delivery man. 

“Sign here,” the delivery man said awkwardly, handing David the signature pad. 

“Wish I had a job like this,” he chuckled, seeing David fumble with the pen and eyeing the empty wine bottles. 

“Excuse me,” David waved a finger in the air. “This is my day off.”

“Okay,” the delivery driver laughed softly and turned on his heel to leave. “Have a nice day,” he called out, closing the door behind him. 

* * *

“Aagh!” Patrick grimaced as he gingerly examined himself while sitting on the bumper of his car. Squeezing a heap of antihistamine onto each arm, he gently rubbed the cream into his aching arms. 

“So much for David ever thinking I can safely hike alone,” he muttered softly, eyeing the bright red swollen skin of his forearms.

Rummaging through the first aid kit again, he brought out a small pill bottle and shook two small ibuprofen pills into his hand. He quickly swallowed them with a small drink of water, hoping relief would come soon. The initial burning stings had subsided, but there still remained a deep throbbing pain travelling up his arms. He knew he needed to wash his arms, but he didn’t have an easily accessible way to accomplish it.

Gritting his teeth, he threw his backpack back into the trunk of his car, slamming it shut. He took a few deep breaths and climbed into the driver’s seat of his car, wondering how he was possibly going to explain this David. 

* * *

“I should probably go,” Stevie said with a small grin, glancing quickly up from her phone. 

“Jake need his little Pony?” David squinted curiously at her, his buzz now significantly subsided. 

“None of your business,” Stevie smirked, but it was the all the answer David needed to know. 

“Pony getting some afternoon delight,” David continued to tease. 

Stevie snorted and brought her bag over her shoulder. “You should go home,” Stevie said, avoiding the insinuation. 

“Mmm, okay,” David said defensively. “Say hi to Jake for me.” 

“I’m not going to do that,” Stevie shook her head as she opened the front door and stepped outside. 

David looked around the now empty shop and sighed. Checking his phone again, his heart sank seeing still no messages from Patrick. 

“Well, we’ll be having a talk about that,” David said to himself as he used all of his self-control to not call him. 

Not wanting Patrick to know he had been at the store, he decided he needed to take the box of body milk to the store room. 

“Ffffuck,” David exhaled sharply as he picked up the box and realized it was far heavier than he anticipated. Huffing as he set the box down in the backroom, he wondered how he would explain to Patrick that the body milk was magically delivered and restocked. 

“David?” he heard a familiar voice from the shop floor. “David, I know you’re at work. I saw your car out front.” 

David scrambled to put the bottle of body milk on the shelf hoping he could make up some excuse about forgetting something at the store to explain why he was there. 

The sound of glass shattering in the store room alerted Patrick to where David was hiding. “David, are you okay?” Patrick rushed to the back room to see David grimacing at a broken mess on the floor, hands firmly on his hips. 

“What are  _ you _ doing here?” David asked, slightly offended that Patrick hadn’t called him on his way back like he promised he would. 

“What am  _ I _ doing here?” Patrick asked, his eyes widening. “I thought we agreed you weren’t working today.” The accusation suddenly making him realize his own transgressions, he tugged urgently at the edges of his sleeves trying to cover the red welts on his forearms, wincing as he did. 

David shut his mouth and squinted at Patrick. “Why are you hiding your arms?”

“David, this is about you,” Patrick protested, hoping to avert the conversation. 

“Then show me your arms,” David challenged. 

Patrick scoffed and put his hands in his back pockets so his arms were no longer visible. “No,” he mumbled feebly. 

“Patrick,” David’s tone allowed no room for Patrick to wiggle out of it. 

“David,” Patrick tried anyway. 

David waved his hand to the side with one on his hip, clearly waiting for Patrick to show him what had happened. 

Taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly through his nose, he pulled his hands out his pockets and carefully shrugged off his jacket. Holding his arms out in front of him so David could examine them, David carefully took Patrick by the hands, mouth agape. 

“What happened?” he asked barely above a whisper. 

“I-” Patrick sighed. “I stepped in a wasp hive, I think,” he admitted. 

“Mm-mm!” David scolded. “Why didn’t you call me?” he emphatically clucked. 

“I didn’t have a signal and once I got to the car, I was busy trying to take care of this,” he confessed in a soft voice. 

David paused trying to examine Patrick’s face in the dimly lit storeroom. “Why did you wait until getting to the car?” he hesitated, still holding Patrick’s hands.

Patrick huffed. “Why are you working?” he protested. 

“This isn’t about me right now, Patrick,” David insisted. 

“Tell me why you’re working and I’ll tell you what happened,” Patrick bargained. 

“Mm-mm!” David objected. “Explain.”

“I left the first aid kit in the car, David. That’s all,” Patrick admitted in a small voice, trying to move past the conversation. “Now you tell me. What happened here?”

David looked as if he wanted to continue the conversation and bit his lip. “If you must know, there was a delivery scheduled for today,” he defended. 

“A delivery… that could have waited until tomorrow,” Patrick scolded. He would have put his hands on his hips but David was still firmly holding them. “And now inventory is broken because of it?”

Patrick took a deep breath. “Sorry, that was unfair. It happens.”

“It’s not ‘unfair.’ It’s true,” David said, shaking his head. “Just tell me what happened.” 

“Just what I told you,” Patrick shrugged. “I switched backpacks last minute and accidentally left the first aid kit in the old backpack. That’s all. It’s not a big deal.” 

David’s eyes softened immediately thinking about Patrick trying to take care of himself out in the middle of nowhere. “I don’t even-” he started. “I don’t even know what to do for stings.”

“I think I was supposed to wash my arms,” Patrick said, knowing exactly that’s what he was supposed to do. “But I obviously didn’t have soap and water easily available”

“Mm-hmm,” David bit his lips. 

“David,” Patrick pleaded. “The whole day was a bust. Let’s just go home.”

David exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry for working today,” he murmured, squeezing Patrick’s hands. “Let me clean this up and I’ll drive you home.”

“I’m not completely useless, David. I can help,” Patrick offered. 

“I did it, I’ll take care of it,” David said. He gently let go of Patrick’s hands and started picking up larger pieces of glass to throw away. 

“Careful, David,” Patrick cautioned. 

“You’re one to talk,” David said with a half grin. Having picked up the larger pieces, he found a raggedy towel that he didn’t mind throwing away and draped it over the liquid that had spilled over the floor and the small pieces of glass that were embedded in it. Scooping up what he could, he threw the towel in the trash and finished cleaning the rest.

“Okay, let’s go take care of you,” David said, rubbing his hands together. He draped an arm over Patrick’s shoulder, careful to stay away from his arms. 

“Hold on,” he said quickly, grabbing a bottle of the body milk off of the shelf before wrapping his arms back around Patrick. 

“David, you have to stop using inventory for our own purposes,” Patrick scolded, pointing to the wine bottles. 

“Blame Stevie,” David smirked.

“Ah,” Patrick snorted with a smile. 

Locking the door behind him, David watched Patrick fumble with his keys. “Meet you at home?” Patrick asked, eyes soft. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” David asked. 

“Promise,” Patrick reassured him. “Are you okay to drive?” he smirked, thinking of the empty wine bottles.

“I’m fine and, again, we can blame Stevie for that,” David waved his open hand towards the store. 

“Okay, David,” Patrick chuckled. “Meet you at home.”

* * *

“Cold water?” David asked as he turned on the kitchen tap. 

“Yeah,” Patrick nodded, pressing his lips together. He was anxious to find relief from the throbbing burn in his arms. 

David rubbed Patrick’s back as the cooling relief of water flooded his senses. 

“Can I wash them?” David asked softly. 

Patrick nodded with a grimace, mentally preparing himself for the pain that was about to come. But instead of the pain he expected, David’s tender ministrations soothed his aching arms. 

“I really don’t like that you went into work today,” Patrick sighed, comforted by David’s soft touch. 

David snorted. “Well, if it makes a difference, I didn’t really do much work.”

Patrick let out a short laugh.

“If we’re speaking our truths, I really don’t like that you didn’t have the first aid kit with you,” David said matter-of-factly. 

“Well, if it makes a difference, it wouldn’t have changed much if I had it,” Patrick tried. “Maybe I could have taken ibuprofen earlier, but that’s it.” 

David sighed and continued to carefully wash Patrick’s arms, trying to be as gentle as possible. “Why didn’t you call?”

“I just didn’t have any signal,” Patrick explained again. “I was so focused on getting back, it didn’t occur to call once I finally got one.”

“I wish you would have called or at least texted,” David confessed, shutting off the tap. 

“I know,” Patrick winced, letting David dry his arms. 

“I thought a bear ate you,” David chuckled. 

“Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me for a little longer,” Patrick laughed as he watched David pour a small pool of the body milk in his hands. Rubbing his hands together a few times, David gently rubbed the lotion into Patrick’s left arm. 

“I thought what I needed was a hike to reorient myself,” Patrick winced as David tenderly rubbed the lotion into his skin. “It’s what I tried to do when I first met you,” he grinned at the memory. 

David smiled as he slowly worked his hands over Patrick’s tender skin and switched to Patrick’s right arm. He longed to make the moment last longer, when Patrick so freely expressed himself and became so vulnerable. 

“But I think I just needed time with you,” Patrick finished softly. 

“Well, you didn’t have to go in near anaphylactic shock to get my attention!” David’s half cocked smile showed his dimple as he gently removed his hands from Patrick’s arms. 

“I’ll remember that for next time,” Patrick grinned with a small laugh. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr where I have no idea what I'm doing. @moirasrosesroses


End file.
